Went to the supermarket yesterday to stock up on carrot sticks and oatcakes. The guy on the check-out looked at me like I'm insane but I don't give a shit.

I'm easing myself back in gently before I start having fasting days otherwise I just wouldn't be able to do it. I don't find it as easy as I used to and for that I am really mad at myself. I let myself get soft, both physically and mentally! I need to get back that steely determination. I need to get back my appetite for hunger.

I have also ordered some wrist weights online, which should be arriving in the next two days. They are discreet enough that I can wear them everyday under my work shirt. I'm really excited about them arriving. I also purchased a skipping rope yesterday. The idea is, I'll take it with me when I take the dog out for a walk/run, and fit in a little extra work out in the middle. Just push myself a little harder.

I have also started water loading. I was with a friend last night and we somehow got onto the subject of colonic irrigation. I tentatively told her about the salt water flush -making out I had never done it of course - and she wants to try it! We are going to do it on Sunday. She doesn't need to know that I've done it many times before.

That's true friendship right there -Planning a day of shitting out water together.

Apologies from my lack of posting recently- as you can tell from my last post I was, er, in a bad mood shall we say!

I have since spent a week off work on holiday, with another week to go. I returned yesturday from a long weekend camping with friends, which was fantastic. It really was just what I needed. The only down side is the pictures that surfaced on facebook today. It appears that between being a depressed binge eater and having my jollies around the campfire with copious amounts of ber, I have ballooned. I am a whale. A whale with a fantastic tan, but none the less.

It's ok!!

It's not really, but I'm being calm about it. It's not undoable. I am back on the Black coffee / Soup / Water diet that I always revert to. The scales have had the dust blown off them. I am on my way back.

I wish I could say I had so much to report seeing as I haven't posted in a while but, alas, this is not the case.

Oh, I seem to be depressed and suicidal again.

How fun.

"Eating is for wimps!"


...Yeah. You didn't contribute to my fucked up eating at all, did you Mum?