I don't know what happened but these past few days I have fallen off the wagon and basically reverted back to my fat whale ways..

Ok, in hindsight I didn't go too crazy..I wasn't stuffing my face with whole packets of biscuits but I was most definitely consuming about 2,000 calories a day which is unacceptable.

On top of that, I wasn't bothering to take my vitamins or diet pills..what the fuck is up with that?...And I don't think a drop of water passed my lips in three days, although lots of fizzy drink and milkshake did.

Ugh.

How can that happen? Last week I was pretty much scared of drinking things like coke, and this week I was guzzling the stuff. Last week the thought of eating chocolate and crisps made me positively nauseous, this week I was craving it. Now, once again, I am back to being repulsed by these things and I am fuming at myself for letting this "breakdown" happen.

God knows how much good work I have undone in just a few miserable days? I avoided the scale during my binge and I sure as hell aren't looking forward to getting back on it.

How could it just turn on and off like a switch?

I am putting it down to the fact that I got my period, which turns me into a ravenous pig of a person. Still, it is my own fault for giving in to these cravings. Just when I thought I was finally waving goodbye to being a fat fuck all my life, it's like a slap in the face telling me that I am still horribly fat and greedy and there is a long, long way to go.

None the less, I am "Back on the wagon" now. Today I will allow black coffee, water, and some steamed veg at lunch. In a few days when my stomach has readjusted to being fed so Little, I will fast and saltwater flush and get all this crap out of my system.

Once step forward, two steps back.

I will not let that happen again!